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hi i'm katie and i have a lot of feelings .

A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?

Why do we have an abortion rate 20% higher than France’s (and more than twice as high as Germany’s), especially considering most doctors here won’t perform them? The answer is any country that has universal health care, where contraception is free, where child care is free or inexpensive, where there is less poverty because people don’t become bankrupt over medical bills — those societies are simply going to have fewer unplanned and unwanted pregnancies.

And there the mask gets pulled off the Bart Stupaks and the “Christians.” If the statistics show that countries with government-provided universal health care and nearly-free abortions are, in fact, the countries with the fewest abortions, then why on earth wouldn’t the Right be the first in line to support universal health care?

Because it isn’t about “universal health care.” It’s about controlling women, period. It’s about sticking your nose in other people’s business. It’s about pushing your religious beliefs on everyone else because voices in your head tell you your Jesus is The One — even though your Jesus never said one single solitary word in any of the four gospels of the Bible about abortion or fertilized eggs being human. You’ve just gone and made it up about “life beginning at conception.” Jesus never said that. The little voice in your head said that, the same little voice that wants your grubby paws on women’s uteruses. You need help. Please get some help and leave the rest of us alone, Mr. Stupak and friends.

The fundamental difference between the 19th century romantic novels and the contemporary romances that borrow heavily from them is in the self-possession of the heroines. Although the unmarried and all but dowerless Elizabeth Bennet and the orphan governess Jane Eyre are in positions of greater social vulnerability than their contemporary counterparts, neither 19th-century heroine is willing to sacrifice self-respect in order to gain financial security or love. …By contrast, the scenes in which Bella Swan and Anastasia Steele literally fall at the heroes’ feet and rely on the heroes’ strength to stand foreshadow each heroine’s willingness to stay in a relationship with a man whose dominance overwhelms her sense of self, and without whom she seems lost.

Kristina Deffenbacher, Professor of English at Hamline University in Saint Paul, Minnesota: http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature/159709-lesser-shades-of-jane/#.UCHs_6LE1jI.facebook

(via cmtilney)

What 19th century romance novelists were doing, which most modern ones are not, is very carefully examining, discussing and criticising the world around them in a conversation that was almost entirely held between women. Novelists during this period, especially romance novelists, were almost exclusively women, as were their readers. Men were still expected to read and write poetry if they were going to read and write any kind of art, because poetry was the higher art form, and also accessible only through the classical education that was denied to most women at the time. So women wrote (and read) novels, which were derided as ‘low’ forms of entertainment until men like Walter Scott and Charles Dickens came along and legitimised the medium by writing the first ‘historical’ and ‘state of the nation’ novels. 

Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is probably one of the subtlest and smartest critiques of the way women like Elizabeth Bennett - self-possessed, opinionated, well-read, passionate - were portrayed in the media in the late 18th and early 19th century. A young, ‘over’-educated woman with opinions of her own was probably the most derided figure in the medium, soundly mocked as utterly self-deluded, ugly, undesirable, raised by fools and liked only by fools; at best she’d end up eventually repenting all her previous opinions and meekly settling down to spinsterhood, at worst she’d end up dying tragically by the end of the novel whilst its real heroine, a stereotypical feminine angel, married happily having surrendered herself entirely to her husband. Pride and Prejudice turned this formula on its head, making Elizabeth the desirable heroine because of her opinions, her education, her self-possession, and fiercely criticising the idea that a woman who gives up her entire self to (the idea of) a man/a marriage, can ever be truly happy (see, Mrs Bennett, and Charlotte, even Lydia). 

In essence, the original, great romance novelists of the late 18th and early 19th century, were doing their best to engage with and subvert the problems they saw for women in particular in the world around them, especially in the ‘pop culture’ of the age, commentating in the only medium available to them. The current generation are interested only in pandering to popular culture, not taking it apart and shaking it up and calling out its bullshit - and therein lies the problem. 

(via gnimaerd)

(Source: tilneyhale, via lipsredasroses)

on the way home from the beach my mom and i saw an ambulence

and i started to think about how expensive they are and that if i were giving birth i wouldn’t ever want to call one because of the high cost

and that got me to think about how goddamn expensive just giving birth is.

a woman (or other people who can bear children) has to pay the astronomical hospital costs and if they need an ambulance? 

i don’t understand why people want to outlaw abortion but want to do nothing to cut costs of a pregnancy/birth that someone didn’t want to begin with. 

if you want to stop abortions and expect people just to turn to adoption as the solution for everything (and as we know, it’s not even the solution to an unwanted pregnancy) why would you make birth so fucking expensive?

oh wait.

because it’s about having babies, it’s about controlling women.

bell hooks:

lavenderlabia:

themindislimitless:

If you have any more, or alternate links just in case these ever get removed, feel free to add to the list. Pass the resources along!

Edit as of 24 June: list updated and alphabetized. Many thanks to wretchedoftheearth, elainecastillo, grim-dark, erosum and mmmajestic who all helped add links and resources.

Edit 25 June. Thank you andreaisace. (I keep each of these edit-notes so I and people who’ve seen the post know if I’ve added any and which since the last time they saw it. The links go to the post in which each link was given).

Reblogging so I have these to refer back to later. Amazing work, team!

(via ihavealittlefeminism)

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because I can still be fired from jobs and denied housing because I’m a girl with XY chromosomes. 

stfusexists:

And guys. Oh, guys. I know, I know, there are laws right now that say you have to pay child support, even if you don’t want the kid. Super unfair, right? But thatdoesn’tmean you should get the right to force a woman to go through something as painful, risky, and life consuming as pregnancy and childbirth against her will. It really doesn’t. And on the bright side, your position as the ruling gender is still firmly in place.

We aren’t trying to all be “sluts” trying to either trap you with a surprise pregnancy or force you to pay for our buckets of birth control, we just want the same prescription coverage that YOU also benefit from. (As a side note – how often have you relied on a girl to be on birth control vs how often have oh helped pay for it? I paid $50 a month for my pills for YEARS. I’ve had one boyfriend offer to help cover the costs. Step up, guys.) 

And sure, some girls think that guys should be “super buff” or whatever. Manscaping is on the rise! But the dudes on Jersey Shore getting screen time does not mean you know what it’s like to be objectified by the media from cradle to grave. Come back and talk to me when makeup is part of your dress code and your unmade face is considered unprofessional. We can start having a chat when someone writes a book aimed at 6 year old boys telling them they need to lose weight to be happy and have friends. As a side note, just because the girl you like keeps dating douchebags and then crying on your shoulder and you’ve been “such an awesome friend” to her doesn’t mean she owes you sex or she’s a “dumb bitch” for not dating you and giving you blowies every night. That’s actually a pretty douche move on your part, bro.

Read More

(via lipsredasroses)

intrntprncss:

albinwonderland:

grrrltalk:

Feminist Frequency explain the concept of the ‘Straw Feminist’ in the media.

Discusses tropes in Powerpuff Girls, Y: The Last Man, and Veronica Mars.

Although I feel it necessary to add, I sympathize a lot with those who don’t feel comfortable with referring to themselves as a feminists because they have experienced anti-queer and anti-POC sentiments within the movement. 

LEARN UP, LADIES

(Source: spiritsalad, via okaydisney)

oc

iamateenagefeminist:

newtheoryoldlove:

Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women on the Street


If she’s not interested, it’s not a compliment, and you’re not just appreciating a pretty lady. You’re actually bothering her. 

Love it! 

“Misogyny super sexy“ 

(via iamayoungfeminist)

I’m a feminist for the most basic reason: I believe in gender equality. For men, women, and people who don’t identify as either. It’s that simple. Sexism hurts everyone and the less of it, the better.

I’m a feminist because I don’t think my being a girl should mean I’m judged any differently than if I wasn’t. Judged on my looks before merit (or at all!), or on if I’m a Blonde Taylor Swift or a Brunette Taylor Swift.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want to hate myself, and because I started liking myself much more when I found out that a lot of the things that I thought were wrong with myself were actually OK, it’s just that society has a history of targeting women for those things.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want to hate other girls, and my friendships became much more valuable once I got over more dumb society stuff: jealousy and girl-hate, afraid of being honest in case I’d seem too “girly,” etc.

I’m a feminist because while my gender has not been much of a barrier for me other than in those personal ways—self-esteem, unwanted male attention, girl hate, etc.—it would be an asshole move to ignore the fact that other people’s lives are considerably harder because they are female. The facts are too scary for it all to be pure coincidence.

Some people like to argue that even having a thing called feminism, and pointing out that men and women are not equal, that there is ANY DIFFERENCE AT ALL between them, is counterproductive. The thing is: people know men and women are not equal. Women in this country make only $.78 to a man’s dollar for the same work. Feminism is just about doing something about it. Pretending it’s not there doesn’t make it go away.


Tavi Gevinson, The Ladies’ Room

So I woke up this morning in a pool of my own blood.

brofisting:

cancerously:

itscandidlycara:

Wait, let me back up.

Hi, my name is Cara and I’m a 21 year old woman. Every 28 days, give or take, I have a period. And it fucking sucks. Today, was one of those where I take from the 28 day cycle. I wasn’t due for another period for at least a week, but considering that my period is pretty much permanently irregular, I get to wake up a lot of mornings in a pool of my own blood. Hmm. Lovely.

I then proceed to dump my sheets, my underwear, and my pajamas in my laundry room in a tub filled with cold water, with the hopes that this time I haven’t ruined them permanently.

What next? Well, a shower of course! To wipe off the smell of rotting blood from my body! Squeaky clean and towel fresh I have about a two minute window before the volcano of blood begins to erupt again from my vagina.

What will it be today? A piece of chlorinated toilet paper cardboard with a string that I get to shove up my hole wherein the blood will sit and rot until the next time I can shove another piece of chlorinated cardboard up the same hole? Or, a plastic lined toilet paper diaper attached to my underwear that causes rug burn to my vaginal area when I walk? Well the later requires less coordination, and it is early, so I guess I’ll be sitting in a period diaper today. The best ever.

Of course, I could always just get birth control, and lessen this whole shit. But 1) I can’t afford it 2) I can’t ask my dad to pay for it because, guess what? Just like the men who run my government, my father correlates birth control with sexual promiscuity! Thus, sitting on my rotting blood, undergoing severe cramps that have on more than one occasion caused me to black out, it is! (Not that birth control is such a walk in the park either, our bodies have to learn to deal with the hormones and other chemicals and consequences that birth control entails.)

Then, I get to go to class, where I have to pretend that I am not a leaky faucet of blood and tissue. I get to sit in Calculus, and if heaven forbid, I need an additional pad, I have to be discrete about it, so as not to offend the men’s gentle sensibilities to the fact that I am the one dropping tissues and blood from my body through my vagina.  

I once asked a male to take me to the pharmacy so that I could pick up (GASP) pads, or as we like to call it “feminine products” (again, so as not to offend the gentlemen’s overly sensitive natures) and had him equate me talking about my period to him talking about his erections.

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

KIDDING

ME

No.

This is nothing like your fucking erection’s. I don’t derive any enjoyment from this. I can’t mentally control any ounce of this entire process. I can’t masturbate my problem away. My period does not end in orgasm.

It stays. For at least five days in my case. Draining blood out of my body. Causing me severe cramps, making me irritable -not because I’m uncomfortable (which mind you, would be reason enough) - but because my hormones are all over the place, bloating me up to two sizes larger than I normally am, I have to actively fight not to smell like a fish market, and on top of that, you want me to be hush-hush about this? Because it’s icky for you?

And this is not an attack on that one man, this is an attack on ALL MEN who on top of sitting on their throne of gender privilege want me to stay quiet and be content about the fact that five days out of every month I get to undergo this happiest of joys.

And then, these very same men have the audacity to get annoyed because we don’t want to listen to their bullshit complaining about traffic? Or whatever other meaningless story they happen to tell us while our bodies are actively fighting against us? Then we get to be the butt of their tired-ass jokes? Sorry, I am most certainly not sorry.

I repeat NO. I say women come out of the period closet and say, “You know what, this happens to me. Every. Fucking. Month. And it’s terrible. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY MORNING.” Because the truth is, if I live in a country where Viagra is covered by medical insurance, but birth control isn’t, I can no longer keep denying that I live in a country that is actively waging a war on women. And if I live in a country that is actively waging war on my sex, the least I am going to do is break patriarchal social propriety to inform anyone and everyone of the shit biological process I was BLESSED enough to be born into.

Hello, my name is Cara, I’m a 21 year old woman, and today I’m on my period. Let me fucking tell you about it.

hello yes this is a good post

look at all the real up in here

(via babeofbiscay)

Women Make Less Than Men at Every Education Level

fuckyeahfeminists:

In every field, at every level of education, men earn more than women. That’s the grim takeaway of this new report [PDF] from the U.S. Census Bureau, which assesses the value of a higher education in the United States—and illustrates the persistent pay gap between male and female employees who hold comparable degrees. In short, education is valuable, but it’s most lucrative if you’re male.

Read more at GOOD—>

I know most of ya’ll already knew this, but this can provide some nice reference for when you come across classmates/family members/friends who refuse to believe the pay gap exists. Unfortunately, it’s alive and well - and no it isn’t their fault; this is called institutional sexism.